Struggling with Breastfeeding? How Mental Health Plays a Role
When Breastfeeding Feels Overwhelming
Today I’m writing for those of you who are finding breastfeeding harder than you imagined. If you are struggling with breastfeeding, you’re not alone. Many new mums/parents feel overwhelmed, anxious, or even cry during feeds. You may wonder if breastfeeding is really for you, or if you’ll ever enjoy the experience. These feelings are SO common—and they can have a big impact on your mental health.
We often hear about how beautiful breastfeeding can be: the bonding moments, the calm of a baby drifting off at the breast, and the confidence of seeing your baby grow. But when your lived reality doesn’t match what you expected, it can feel deeply unsettling. Instead of feeling reassured, you may find your confidence slipping—and that’s when emotional challenges of breastfeeding really start to show.
Why “Breastfeeding is Natural” Can Feel Harmful
The phrase “breastfeeding is natural” can actually harm mental wellbeing. It suggests that as soon as your baby is born, feeding should just “work.” When it doesn’t, many mums/parents may feel guilt, shame, or self-doubt.
Yes, breastfeeding is instinctual—but instinct doesn’t equal easy. Just like walking or learning a new language, it’s a skill that takes practice, guidance, and patience. Without support, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking “I’m failing” when in fact you’re simply learning.
If you’ve ever asked yourself “Why is breastfeeding so hard emotionally?”, know that the answer isn’t because you’re doing something wrong—it’s because you deserve better support.
The Mental Health Side of Breastfeeding Struggles
Struggles look different for everyone. You may face:
Pain or latch problems
Exhaustion or birth recovery challenges
The emotional intensity of frequent feeds
Family pressure or mixed advice
When these challenges pile up, they don’t just affect feeding—they can affect mood, sleep, confidence, and relationships. Feeling anxious, guilty, or low is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign that your mental health needs care, just like your baby does.
What Helps When You’re Struggling
1. Build a Supportive Network
If family or friends don’t understand your breastfeeding journey, it can feel isolating. That’s where breastfeeding support groups come in. Local or online, these communities provide peer support, reassurance, and shared experience. Being around others who “get it” can ease loneliness and protect your mental wellbeing.
2. Reach Out for Professional Help
Peer support is vital, but sometimes you need more. An IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) can help with practical feeding issues and support you emotionally. Unlike general health visitors, IBCLCs are trained specifically in breastfeeding support and can create tailored care plans.
That said, IBCLCs aren’t your only option. Many parents also find invaluable guidance from doulas, childbirth educators, midwives, and health visitors, who can each offer perspective, reassurance, and hands-on help in different ways. The important thing is that you feel heard, supported, and not dismissed in your concerns.
Investing in the right support—whether from an IBCLC or another trained professional—can be more affordable in the long run than months of stress or costly alternatives. Most importantly, it can protect your mental health while helping you and your baby find your rhythm together.
3. Reframe the Journey with a Growth Mindset
Breastfeeding can feel like a constant test—but it’s actually a learning process. Try to focus on progress, not perfection:
Did your baby latch more easily today? Success.
Did you express enough milk for one feed? Success.
Did you make it through another day still trying? Success.
Reframing challenges as steps forward protects your mental health and helps you see that you and your baby are learning together.
Gentle Reminder: Your Mental Health Matters
If breastfeeding makes you anxious, tearful, or overwhelmed, please know: you are not failing. You are learning. You are adapting. And you do not need to do this alone.
Your mental health is just as important as your baby’s nourishment. Be kind to yourself, reach out for support, and remember—you deserve to feel supported and confident in your feeding journey.
🌿 If you’re searching for answers, here are some of the most common questions I hear about breastfeeding and mental health:
🤱 FAQ: Breastfeeding & Mental Health
Is it normal to feel anxious when breastfeeding?
Yes. Many new mums feel anxiety around feeding—whether due to pain, latch struggles, or pressure to get it “right.” Anxiety doesn’t mean you’re failing. It’s a sign you deserve more support for both your feeding journey and your mental wellbeing.
Why is breastfeeding so hard emotionally?
Breastfeeding is often described as “natural,” but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. When reality doesn’t match expectations, feelings of guilt, frustration, and sadness can build. Lack of support can intensify these struggles.
What should I do if breastfeeding makes me cry?
If you find yourself crying during or after feeds, pause and recognise that you are not alone. Reach out to a lactation consultant (IBCLC), attend a breastfeeding support group, or speak to your GP, doula, midwife, or health visitor about your mental health. Crying is a sign you need extra care—not that you’re failing.
Can breastfeeding affect my mental health long term?
Yes. Feeding challenges can affect confidence and mood, but with the right support, most mums find their wellbeing improves as breastfeeding becomes easier. Looking after your emotional health is just as vital as your baby’s nourishment.
Where can I find breastfeeding help near me?
Look for local breastfeeding groups, La Leche League meetings, or NHS services. If you need more tailored support, book an IBCLC. Doulas, childbirth educators, and health visitors can also provide encouragement and resources. Online peer groups are a lifeline if in-person help isn’t available.
🌿 Ready for More Support?
If you’re struggling with breastfeeding and your mental health, you don’t need to face it alone. I offer compassionate postnatal and breastfeeding support designed to nurture both you and your baby.
👉 Explore my services here or get in touch today—I’d love to support you.
